In the past few years, teenagers and young adults have been following certain trends that qualify them as “hipsters.” The hallways of New York City high schools are crowded with fake mustaches and non-prescription eyeglasses in an attempt to fit in with this infamous fashion trend. Kids are picking up on this habit very quickly, so make sure to keep a close eye on your children so you can stop the hipster phase before it goes too far.
Known for clashing patterns and odd combinations of oversized and undersized clothes, the triangle and nebula stamped shirts hang off of teen torsos while see through tights cling to the shaking legs of students who are brave enough to wear such outrageous outfits to school.
Along with the overused outfit trends that teenagers claim “express individuality,” there are also other obvious signs of a teenager catching the spreading disease that they like to call “hipster.” To figure out if someone is a hipster, ask if they wear glasses. If the teenager reaches into their overwhelmingly colorful shoulder bag and pulls out huge black frames with plastic lenses or no lenses at all, be worried. That is a very common symptom among hipsters.
Another popular accessory that hipsters seem to like are handlebar mustaches. Handlebar mustaches can be attached to glasses (fake ones only, of course), stamped onto pillow cases, and of course can be purchased in any kind of jewelry form, such as rings, necklaces and bracelets.
People who haven’t been infected by the hipster epidemic can’t understand why mustaches are such a significant part of hipster culture, but these plastic facial hair accessories are everywhere. If your child has two or more novelty mustaches, get help right away.
To find a hipster, go to the nearest Urban Outfitters and look around in the t-shirt section. Look for a tiny girl asking for a size extra small in the nebula covered crop top she’s holding. As you slowly approach her, notice her indian print purse and matching belt. She’ll be wearing a huge necklace with a bright silver cross on it, and I can guarantee she’s not religious. If you get close enough to see what else she’s planning on buying, notice the feathered earrings in her hand. That is a definite sign of a hipster. If you find yourself liking her outfit, make sure you get out of Urban Outfitters as soon as possible so you don’t catch the disease.
If you’re worried it might be too late to end the hipster trend in your child, don’t worry. Being a hipster won’t interfere with your son or daughters every day life. Your kid can still go to school, get into college and get a good job…unless they skip class to go thrift store shopping and spend their money for books on triangular shaped glasses and rainbow mustaches. In that case, I wish you luck.